I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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