i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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