How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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