Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
