this boner is exhausting
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
