Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize