i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
