Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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