He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
