shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize