Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Someone came in the potted fern
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
