Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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