Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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