Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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