Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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