I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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