put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
