i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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