i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
