Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
