Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
