I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
