Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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