i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
