things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize