so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
