He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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