I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
