discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
