Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
