there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
