my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize