You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
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