Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
