i wish starbucks made bloody marys
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just sucked dick on a ferry
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
