It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Panties = found
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
