I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
