Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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