You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
