remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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