no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
there was a trapeze. enough said
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
