I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
