you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize