my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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