at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
