You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
