Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
