chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My penis needs a shock collar
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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