she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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