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My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
