Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
