i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
