I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
