? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
