you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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