Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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