When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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