NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
babies were throwing up all over the place
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He has the fingertips of a God
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
