I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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