My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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