I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
