im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
false alarm, still single
Randomize
