if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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