my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
