I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
