Dude my mom stole all your condoms
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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