she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
