Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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