so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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