did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
